Shadow and Omega: Quest For A House
by AGodofIrony
Summary: After Sonic claims to be better at having fun then Shadow, Shadow takes it as a challenge, and with Omega, plans to throw a party. Unfortunately they have no house and now, they're trying to get enough money for one. Will they be able to do so? Let's see.
1. Money Troubles

A.N. Yo.

This story stares Shadow and Omega. Other characters will feature in it from chapter to chapter, and is meant as a silly and humorous story, if you're in the mood for a laugh. If you're looking for a serious fic, turn back now.

You've been warned.

I would also like to note, that why'll I'll hint at certain romances, there is actually only one 'romance' in this fic, and that's between Omega and a toaster. I intended this so that everyone could enjoy the humor.

Thank you, and have a good read.

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Shadow was in a rare mood, something that came once in a blue moon for the hedgehog, but when he was in such a mood, it spread out to everyone else, infecting them and spreading even more. The last time it happened, Eggman had wept and agreed to stop trying to take over the world (a promise quickly broken once the effects ended), Rouge gave to charity, Knuckles let little kids on his island to play with the Master Emerald, and other things that seemed unthinkable occurred, and no, not _that_. That would be silly.

Poland was also invaded, but the opposing armies quickly gave up and agreed to never fight again, and were soon taken over by Eggman the next day in a fit rage at getting in the same mood Shadow was in.

What mood was the self proclaimed Ultimate Life Form in?

Shadow was happy.

And why was he happy? Perchance, had he found love, possibly in a certain pink hedgehog?

No, despite the fact the author is a fan, that's not what happened.

Had Sonic come to his senses and proclaimed Shadow to be the best? Nope, the cool blue 'hog was still convinced of his awesomeness, and truth be told, he is pretty cool.

Perchance he had somehow found out that despite the over whelming odds, Maria was still alive? Again, no. She was still dead. Bullets do that to you.

Maybe he had come across a horde of zombies, and their destruction by Shadow in the most violent means necessary cheered him up. Alas, the zombies weren't due for another week or so.

So, why was he happy?

He had had an epiphany.

Now, you readers, and hopefully reviewers, are probably thinking I'm just stalling, running low on ideas of what would make Shadow happy. I wasn't. _Now_ I'm stalling.

Anyways, Shadow the Hedgehog had an epiphany.

_"If I bought three of these things for 4. 50, and got the fourth free with this coupon, I'd save fifty cents off of each one!"_

Shadow was food shopping.

With Omega.

Yes, the two friends, as only friends or family will willingly go food shopping with you, unless they have ulterior motives, such as back stabbing you with a piece of produce, were grocery shopping.

Now, Omega was a robot, thus didn't need to eat, and Shadow, while still needing and enjoying food, did not need it nearly as much as normal Mobians.

But there was a reason the two had a grocery cart load of food that Omega was pushing, Shadow being to short to push the cart designed for humans.

Shadow was throwing a party, and Omega, somehow thinking a party involved suitcases and firing all weapons systems, (allusions to Dragonbreath1's fanfics! Read them, very funny!) had agreed to help.

Of course, this brings up a whole new question, of _why_ Shadow was throwing a party in the first place.

It all began last week, at a party Sonic was throwing…

A haze filled the air, Omega looking around in alarm, the only one who could see it apparently.

"It seems as though it is another flashback, Comrade Shadow," the robot said with no emotion, being a robot.

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Loud noises and drunken singing filled the house, as Knuckles, who had drank three bottles of Root Beer, had some adverse reaction to the caffeine, and became a bit…crazy. Some people would call it a sugar high.

However, this story does not focus on the amusing antics of Knuckles, and instead the flashback focuses on a small couch in the corner, a grumpy looking Shadow sitting with his arms across his chest, Omega peering forward as Sonic stepped back, laughing at something Tails had said, and looked towards his rival in speed.

"Come on Shadow! Have some fun!" Sonic grinned, "We got Root Beer!"

Shadow hissed at the mention of the nasty tasting substance, earning a strange look from Sonic.

"Err…We have cake-flavored cake!" Sonic then suggested, pulling out a slice from seemingly nowhere. He blinked, and it disappeared, a scowling Shadow having a bit of frosting on his lips.

"…" Shadow commented.

Suddenly, an idea formed in Sonic's mind.

"Well, I guess I'm better then you then!" Sonic declared, grinning madly and turning around, preparing to walk off.

"No one is better then Shadow the Hedgehog…" Shadow spoke up from his couch in the corner.

"I'm better at having fun then you!" Sonic shot back, turning around with a smirk.

"_No one_ has fun like Shadow!" Shadow declared, doing a bad impression of Gaston and jumping from the couch, "I will prove to you I am better at this, fun thing, as you call it."

"And how will you do that?" Sonic wondering, raising an eyebrow, the roar in the party getting a little louder, as Pop Rocks had been found, and Tails and Knuckles were making improve grenades with them by stuff them in sodas, shaking thoroughly, then throwing them before their arms were blown off.

"I…" Shadow paused, wondering just how he would do such a thing.

"I…will throw my own party," Shadow then declared, "And it will be, as you say, more _fun_ then yours here!"

"Fine then! The usual wager?" Sonic wondered, holding out his hand to shake.

"The usual," Shadow answered, and the two hedgehogs shook hands, and the mist faded back, Omega looking around in the grocery store, slightly confused.

"Comrade Shadow, I believe I should see a mechanic. I am seeing things I should not be seeing," Omega said quietly to the still shopping Shadow, who merely shrugged, and continued shopping for items, remembering what Sonic had at his party.

After the purchasing of foodstuffs, Shadow easily Chaos Controlled the groceries to his house.

Well, he would have, except he forgot one important thing.

Shadow the Hedgehog was not a home owner. He wasn't even a renter. The closes thing to a home he had was ARK, and that was a bit to go for partygoers.

"Omega, I believe we have a problem," Shadow said slowly, as he and the robot stared at the mute brown bags full of food and other necessary party supplies, including Kimi-Be-Gone Spray.

"How will we acquire a home unit, Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, "Perhaps we can…_convince_ someone of lending one to us?"

"Are you suggesting we barge into someone's home, and then threaten to hurt them unless they let us use their house to throw a party?" Shadow asked, raising an eyebrow towards his robot friend.

"Of course not Comrade Shadow! But my scanners indicate that humans seem fascinated by small green pieces of paper. Perhaps if we gave them some, they would be willing to part with a home unit," Omega said, shocked that Shadow would think he'd suggest such a thing. Unless, of course, it was Eggman they did it to.

Shadow, looking a little disappointed for some reason, merely nodded, "True. They don't seem to like it when I pay in Rings. But where will we find these pieces of paper?"

"They can not be difficult to acquire some. There seems to be a large number of them," Omega reasoned, "And perchance we can assemble them ourselves."

"I think we need a job…" Shadow muttered, remembering an incident when he attempted to procure food at a food place with golden arches, unable to pay with cash, and told to 'Get a job bum!' by one of the annoyed customers behind him.

Authorities have yet to find that guy.

"And how shall acquire one Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered.

Shadow paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Well…Not sure. Perhaps we should ask Rouge."

"Comrade Rouge?!" Omega said, perking up, "At her Club? Would I be able to meet Miss Toaster once more?"

There was another pause from Shadow, though this one was a much more awkward one, and Omega was completely oblivious to the slightly disgusted and stunned look on his friend's face.

"Omega…that's just a normal toaster…" Shadow finally said, "It doesn't have any intelligence…"

Omega's eye glowed for a second, and he pointed two large cannons towards the Ultimate Life Form.

"Do you dare insult Miss Toaster, Comrade Shadow?!" Omega roared, locking unto the now slightly scared looking Shadow.

"Ummm…I mean…The age difference…" Shadow muttered, "I don't think it would work out."

"What about the age difference between you and Miss-"

"Shut up…" Shadow said quickly, eyes darting back and forth, "We're not suppose to talk about romance! At least not right now, with canon characters."

"…Omega believes that Comrade Shadow should not break the fourth wall," the robot said, removing his cannons from Shadow's face, "Now, let us visit Comrade Rouge and Miss Toaster!"

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"You want to know how to get a job?" Rouge wondered, eyebrow raised as she sat on the couch across Shadow, who was sitting on an uncomfortable stool.

"Yes…Omega and I need money. So we can get a house. To throw a party. And thus I shall beat the Faker at this 'fun' thing!" Shadow declared, clenching his fist, as Omega's voice, speaking in French, wafted across the room, the words 'Mademoiselle Grille-pain' heard very often.

"Well then…" Rouge grinned slyly, "I could pay you to help me with something."

"But I already told you, I don't know how to River Dance!" Shadow said, exasperated.

Rouge merely blinked, then laughed, shaking her head, "No, no, no. I want help with a heist, and you and Omega can definitely help."

"May I bring Miss Toaster along, Comrade Rouge?" Omega asked from the kitchen.

"Then again, maybe not…" Rouge muttered, glancing over to the hapless hedgehog called Shadow, who squirmed slightly in his seat.

"Can you help us or not Rouge?" Shadow wondered, getting slightly frustrated.

"I suppose so," the bat smiled, a gleam in her eyes, "You two will get…ten percent off what I make from this heist."

"Ten percent?!" Shadow spluttered, eyes wide, "But there's two of us! We should get two thirds of the money!"

Shadow suddenly found a boot to his chest, an angry looking Rouge glaring towards him, "Listen, if you and Omega weren't friends, I would have just dumped you two out on the streets, got it? Now because I'm so generous, I'll let you and Omega have a separate, ten percent cut, got it? Now if you complain about that, I _will_ throw you out on the streets."

The black hedgehog gulped, staring forward at the scary sight. It was worse then when confronting Devil Doom…

"Go-got it…" Shadow muttered, the Ultimate Life Form now being freed from the boot.

"Good. Omega, put down my toaster and get in here! We're going over the plan!" Rouge shouted towards the kitchen, and a sad looking Omega appeared, toasterless.

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Shadow squirmed uncomfortably in the vent, staring towards the stone tablet he was suppose to help steal for Rouge's employer, waiting for the all clear from Omega.

The plan was simple enough. Omega would disable the outside security, while Rouge would get the inside ones. Once done, a simple Chaos Control by Shadow, and the tablet would be theirs. Errr…Rouge's.

"I've got the inner defenses offline," Rouge's voice crackled through Shadow's ear piece, "Now we're just waiting on Omega."

The robot in question did not have the plan entirely down pat. He thought that after he disabled the outside defenses, he was suppose to help Shadow steal the tablet, and when his bulky form did not fit through the air vent, decided to proceed another way.

"PROCEEDING TO HELP COMRADE SHADOW AND ACQUIRE ITEM!" Omega shouted, punching the museum's door open without much trouble, green eyes glowing as he looked around the museum, activating his floodlights to see.

"Destroying non needed targets!" Omega then yelled, locking his missiles on several priceless items, preparing to fire.

Neither Omega, Shadow, or Rouge would confess as to what happened next, but it was a good thing Rouge had gotten the inner security off.

The next morning, the sun would illuminate the destroyed building, artifacts of all kind now lost the searing heat of Omega's missiles. Needless to say, no one noticed the tablet missing, as it was presumed destroyed as well, but, in reality, Shadow had hastily punched the glass covering, winced and cursed, then stole the tablet and Chaos Controlled himself and Rouge out before he accidentally destroyed them in his search and acquire mission.

Shadow also managed to get Omega out from the rubble before authorities were able to appear, and it was presumed that Eggman was responsible for it, who as we all know, didn't, but was nevertheless arrested at a Safeway after purchasing a Snicker's Bar, a gallon of milk, and a copy of Discover Magazine. He is still in custody.

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"Remind me to never hire you two again for another job…" Rouge sighed, handing Omega and Shadow their share.

"Ten dollars…" Shadow muttered, staring at the green bill. Something didn't seem right, but maybe that was just the bandage around his hand.

Omega quickly shifted his still running thought process from 'Destroy' to 'Economics', a relatively easy switch.

"This does not compute Comrade Rouge," Omega finally said, "We were offered ten percent, not ten dollars. Was the job for only one hundred of these green bills?"

"No, it wasn't. But the price was lowered since _you destroyed the damn museum_, and I took what was taken out of your two's payments!" Rouge growled, "I swear, if you weren't friends…"

"Hey, I didn't mess up!" Shadow protested, "Why should I only get-"

A glare from the bat thief quickly shut him up.

"Now get out and find yourself a different way to make money!" Rouge yelled, shooing the two out her front door and locking it after them.

"…Does this mean I can not visit Miss Toaster again?" Omega wondered, as the two sat outside in silence for a few minutes.

"Nah, she'll calm down. Now come on. Let's get us a 'job' thing," Shadow answered, and stood up, and together, the two headed down the street…

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A.N. Part II is already about halfway written, so expect it up within a few days.

Hope you enjoyed!

I do NOT own Sonic and all related titles. Wish I did though. Then we'd have a movie. Well, another movie.


	2. In This Chapter, Shadow Wears A Hat

A.N. Thanks for the reviews!

Now, for Part II!

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"Do you have a High School diploma, Mr…" the clerk wondered, eyes scanning the paper, "E-123?"

"You may refer to me as 'Omega' if you wish, Social Worker Unit," the robot in question answered, sitting uncomfortably in a chair at the employment agency.

"Alright, Mr. Omega. Do you have a High School Diploma?" she then asked, looking bored.

"I am a robotic device. I can calculate your heartbeat, breathing rate, and digestion in the matter of seconds, all while solving complex calculus, plus perform amazing physical feats, the likes of which you fleshy organ bags could never imagine," Omega stated simply, never blinking, being a robot.

"So, no then?" the clerk sighed, holding up a pen.

"…No…" Omega answered finally.

"A G.E.D.?" the clerk wondered.

"Several," the robot answered, thinking that G.E.D. stood for 'Guided Electronic Defense.'

"Can you show me?" the clerk wondered, writing something on the piece of paper Omega had filled out.

"Certainly. You may wish to step back."

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"What part of _I'm the Ultimate Life Form_ do you not get?" Shadow asked, exasperated as he struggled to reason with the clerk he was talking to, a balding man in his late forties.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid we don't have any jobs on file that…well, fit your past endeavors," the clerk answered, giving a small shrug.

"I help save the world once, save it on my own once as well, and this is what I get?" Shadow snorted, leaning back in the chair, considering using some well placed Chaos Blasts in the Employment Agency Building.

However, before he could begin building up just enough rage for one, the wall beside him exploded, an anti-missile missile exploding it, Omega next room over demonstrating his Guided Electronic Defense to the stunned woman, who was now attempting to hide under her desk.

"OMEGA!!!" Shadow shouted, ducking as a laser sliced through the desk of the balding man, who was now attempting to escape with his enormous gut.

"What?" Omega wondered, charging a rather powerful laser, the foundations of the building badly shaken, threatening to fall, the people inside streaming out.

"Don't-" Shadow began, but was cut off suddenly as Omega's laser was fired.

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It was a few hours later, and Shadow finally regained consciousness, slightly surprised to find himself upside down in a tree.

"Well then…" the Ultimate Life Form muttered, struggling out of the tree and hopping down, looking about where he was.

He was in the middle of a busy city, the tree he had been one of those trees that are put up to help improve the area and what not.

"Now…" Shadow said to himself, looking around, "Where is Omega?"

"Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, time for ice cream, ding-a-ling-ding-a-ling-time for fun!"

The hedgehog turned to the source of the noise, and found Omega by an ice cream truck, a gaggle of kids behind him, eagerly waiting for their turn to buy the delicious treat.

"What is the nature of this 'ice cream' as you call it?" Omega wondered, holding a scoop of chocolate ice cream on a cone.

"Dude, just give me the buck and get going. I got to get ice cream to those kids," the annoyed ice cream man said, waiting to be paid.

"Very well then," Omega answered, producing his ten dollar bill, receiving his change, then walking off, attempting to eat the ice cream cone, but finding that impossible with no mouth.

"Omega…We're saving for a house, remember?" Shadow asked as Omega walked up, his face smeared with the uneaten ice cream.

"Affirmative Comrade Shadow. I simply wished to try something new, think outside my programming," the robot replied.

Shadow sighed and shook his head. Things were looking bleak. Together, they had nineteen dollars now, and since Omega had…accidentally…destroyed the Unemployment Agency, they would have to find jobs on their own. Thus, they could then purchase a house, once they received enough money.

Looking around, as if hoping to find a clue to their problems, Shadow came across a flyer.

Ripping it out of the hands of the buzzing bee who held it, the hedgehog looked over it carefully, the bee, who had seen the ice cream truck, forgot about the flyer and headed off to buy ice cream.

"'Lost Cat. Cash reward if found. Please contact for further information.'" Shadow read, a telephone number then given afterwards.

"Ahah! An answer to our money troubles Omega!" Shadow declared, waving the flyer in front of his robotic friend and ally.

"I do not think that adequate funds can be acquired from this pursuit of a feline," Omega answered, looking quite silly with chocolate ice cream and cone bits plastered to his face.

"Look, we need the money," Shadow reasoned, "And it can't take us to long to find this cat, right?" 

"I suppose so…" Omega answered back. "Then let us call this number."

Opening up, Omega's chest plate expanded, and revealed a phone hanging on a receiver, a rotary dialing system by it.

"Rotary? Figured you'd be touch tone Omega," Shadow joked, picking up the phone and proceeding to rotate the number.

"Eggman is a cheap bast-" Omega began, but then cut off by his friend, as someone picked up the phone on the other end.

"Hello?! Hello?!" the voice shouted, clearly audible over the phone from five feet away, the Ultimate Life Form thrusting the phone away from his ear, "Who is this?"

The voice seemed to belong to an old woman, one who got easily annoyed by things and disliked the younger generation with intense loathing.

"Ummm…Hello…" Shadow said tentatively, bringing the phone back to his head, "I saw your flyer for a lost cat and…"

"Lost cat?! You mean Mr. Muffins?!" the old lady screeched, though not as loud, as Omega had taken care to lower the volume. "Did you find my Mr. Muffins?!"

"No ma'am, I just saw your flyer," Shadow coughed, trying his best not to be annoyed by the voice, "And I wanted to find him, and I was hoping you could tell us what he looked like and where he was last seen."

"Alright young man! Come to my house and I'll show you a picture of Mr. Muffins!" the old lady shouted. She then proceeded to give Shadow the address, who wrote it down on a piece of paper and pencil that Omega handed to him.

Hanging up, Shadow studied the address.

"Wait…Where are we?" Shadow wondered, "And I have no idea where this address is."

"I shall figure it out Comrade Shadow!" Omega said, then became perfectly still, wireless accessing the internet.

Connection with dial-up, as Omega said earlier, "Eggman is a cheap bast-", whatever a 'bast' is, the robot then accessed Yahoo! Maps…

"Come Comrade Shadow!" Omega then declared, suddenly grabbing Shadow by the quills and dragging him off down the street, barreling through people…

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After an escapade involving an illegal Mexican drug ring, barrels of apples, the Fires of Mount Doom, and Leonard Nemoy, Omega and Shadow had finally made it to the old lady's house, where an annoyed Shadow wearing a red fedora hat knocked on the door, a sheepish-looking, if robots could indeed have that look, Omega behind him, hands behind his back.

"Hello?! Hello?!" the voice shouted from the door, as it opened inwards, a very small and stooped, stereotypical old lady emerging from it, wearing glasses large enough and thick enough to be used as a magnifying glass, "What do you want?!"

"Ummm…I'm here about your lost cat," Shadow answered.

"OH! Come in, come in dears!" the lady bellowed, and Shadow and Omega followed, immediately hit with a wave of noxious smell, something that smelled like it had died two weeks previously, along with the rest of it's herd. Even Omega, who had no sense of smell, recoiled from it.

The news was on, something about Eggman and the destruction of a prison, and that Sonic was after him and what not.

"Ah!" the old lady screeched, "That Sonic fellow, not that bad! That Shadow one though, oohhhh…He's evil, I know it! If I ever came across him, I'd belt him a good one! Now, what was your name sonny?!"

Shadow paused. While he wasn't afraid of this old lady, he still wanted her money, and if she knew he was Shadow, he doubted that she'd let them search for her cat.

"Ummm…" the Ultimate Life Form paused, playing with the brim of his red fedora hat, searching for a name, "The name's…Gently…Dirk…Gently."

"Dirk Gently?! Is that a foreign name?!" the old lady demanded.

"…Sure…and this is my associate…Mr…" Shadow paused, again, looking towards Omega, who shrugged.

"Mr…Adams! Mr. Adams," Shadow finally shouted, "Now, about your cat…"

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"Comrade Shadow…Or should I say Comrade Gently, the lost cat is not within this cone object," Omega, or as he was known to the old lady 'Mr. Adams' told the red fedora hat wearing hedgehog.

"That's a trash can Omega. And call me Shadow when we're not within earshot of the old lady," the hedgehog in question answered.

The two were looking around the old lady's house, well, outside of it, as Omega's scans only picked up the old lady in the house. After both receiving a copy of what Mr. Muffins looked like, a normal gray tabby, they headed outside to scout the immediate area.

Stepping over a lawn gnome, Shadow scratched his head in confusement. It seemed that finding this cat would be very difficult. In fact, it might take all of his epic skill as The Ultimate Life Form.

Perhaps he should make some business cards…

"Meow."

"What was that Omega?" Shadow wondered, turning towards the robot, who had produced a bowl of crème, and having set it down, attracted several dozen cats.

"Omega! That's brilliant!" the hedgehog shouted exuberantly, "But where did you get the crème?"

Omega paused, looking down towards said bowl full of the milk-like substance, then up towards Shadow, "It is the crème I use for my coffee, Comrade Shadow."

"But…you don't…" Shadow began, confused.

"Don't what, Comrade Shadow?" the robot wondered, also confused as well, scratching his metal head.

Shadow just sighed, exasperated, then headed over to the cats, producing the picture of the cat called Mr. Muffins, comparing them with the cats at the bowl, then pulled one out, and was soon scratched several times.

"AHHH! Get it off, get it off!" Shadow yelled, arms flailing through the air, hopping backwards on one foot as Mr. Muffins unleashed his feline fury on the Ultimate Life Form.

"I shall aid you Comrade Shadow!" Omega yelled heroically, and aimed his cannons towards Shadow.

"No, wait, don-!"

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"Here's your cat…" a smoky Shadow muttered, his red fedora hat unscathed from Omega's missile barrage, as was Mr. Muffins. He deposited the cat by the feet of the old lady, who hissed, then began to clean itself. Not the old lady, but the cat. Silly.

"Thank you dearies!" the old lady exploded with what Shadow and Omega could only assume to be tolerance, "Here's your payment!"

The old lay took out a person, then removed a large wad of cash, handing it to the stunned Shadow, who looked towards it in disbelief, who then handed it towards a confused Omega.

"Comrade Shadow…" Omega began, but Shadow cut him off.

"Thank you," Shadow grinned, then headed for the door before the old lady could change her mind. Once outside and on the street, the hedgehog turned eagerly to his friend. "Alright! How much did we make?"

"I was trying to tell you earlier, Comrade Shadow. "This is Monopoly money." He then proceeded to wave the multi colored pieces of paper in Shadow's face.

Shadow twitched, beginning to turn the same red as his hat, though not in embarrassment.

"DAMN YOU MILTON BROTHERS!!!" Shadow bellowed into the sky, growing redder, as Omega stepped back carefully, out of range.

Then, Shadow exploded.

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"…_Now_ where are we?" Shadow wondered, waking up to find himself slung over Omega's left shoulder.

Looking around, it seemed as though it was still the city, large buildings looming above them, people pushing past them.

"You life forms refer to it as Station Square," Omega answered.

"And what do you robots refer to it as?" Shadow wondered, hopping off Omega's shoulder and walking beside him, and realizing, with a bit of sadness, that his hat seemed to have disappeared.

"Station Square as well, Comrade Shadow, but you didn't hear it from me," the robot responded, very quietly. "Now, how shall we acquire monetary funds?"

Shadow frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, gazing around the city, then stopped, smiling broadly as he saw their answer.

"That…" Shadow grinned, pointing towards it, "Is the answer…"

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A.N. Milton Brothers? Coffee? Red fedora hat? Robot conspiracy?

And just what is it that Shadow saw that will get them money? Find out, next time!


	3. Bodyguard Duty And Guacamole Dip

A.N. Okay…wow…I don't think I usually ever take this long to update, but Chaotic Power takes precedence over this fic.

Anyways, finally, an update! We have another guest star, and hopefully a good batch of comedy! Hope you enjoy!

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"Are you sure about this, Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, as the two sat in uncomfortable chairs yet again, outside an office.

"Of course! You're a highly advanced robot, and I'm the Ultimate Life Form. It'll be perfect, and it's only for a night," Shadow answered, nodding his head, as the door leading outside opened, a figure obscuring the light that shone in, then walked forward.

He was an armadillo.

"G'day mates," the armadillo nodded, speaking in an Australian accent, walking in and taking up the third and final seat, next to Omega.

"Ahh…I see we have the first three…Intervees…" a voice from the office spoke out, the door opening slightly, the room actually getting darker.

"You want all three us in at once?" Shadow wondered, eyebrow raised, suspicious down to his fancy smancy Air Shoes.

"Yes…" the voice answered, "It is a three person job."

The three looked at each other, then shrugged. Well, Omega sorta shrugged. He doesn't really have moving shoulders.

Stepping into the office, the door was quickly closed behind them, where they face only darkness.

"Name's Mighty by the way," Mighty told the stars of this fic. "How 'bout you?"

"Shadow," the Ultimate Life Form answered, looking around.

"I am Omega E – 123," the robot droned.

"Hey, Omega, get some lights on, will yah?" Shadow then asked, looking towards his robotic friend.

There was a sudden, blinding light, as Hope seemed to fill the room, angels singing, glorious wonders untold suddenly came to the two Mobians minds…

"Blimey mate…" Mighty mumbled, "That's some light…"

"It's only my floodlights," Omega scowled, and like a cat being processed through a blender, the wonderment stopped, and the scene was now shown before them.

It was a perfectly ordinary office, and a perfectly ordinary, if not looking a little geeky, man sat behind a perfectly ordinary desk, filled with perfectly ordinary office supplies. Like a blender. No cats though.

_Yet…_

"Ahh…Excellent, prepared for sudden lights out!" the man said, his voice a little high, not like the voice who had beckoned them in. "Now…are you prepared…FOR A SUDDEN ATTACK!"

Screeching like a man impersonating bad ninja impersonator, the man shot up from the desk, pulling something out from behind his back.

"FIRE!" Omega shouted, launching his missiles at the man.

There was a small explosion in the geeky man's vicinity, and when it died down, the perfectly ordinary desk was destroyed. The blender remained intact though.

"Cough…I see you are prepared as well…" the man mumbled, "Now, my name is Iem Gi Kay."

"Iem Gi Kay?" Shadow mumbled, tapping his chin, as Omega's floodlights opened slightly, gazing upon the blender.

"Yes…Something wrong with it?" the man wondered, raising an eyebrow, then proceeding to sit down on his nonexistent chair, which completely failed to support his weight.

Getting up from the ground, Mr. Kay then looked to the three in turn.

"Alright, I am in charge of security for Princess Elise of Soleanna. As you can tell by the flyer, we're a little short handed, so we need more help to guard the Princess at tonight's royal ball," Mr. Kay nodded curtly, Omega having grabbed the blender and walked to a corner, where he seemed to be conversing to it in French.

"Bodyguard job, right, that's what the flyer said mate," Mighty nodded.

"Correct. We need three able bodied guards to help make sure no harm befalls the Princess," Mr. Kay continued, "I can see Mr. E – 123 is more then capable for the job, but what are your two's qualifications?"

"I'm the Ultimate Life Form," Shadow stated simply.

"Good, good."

"I'm probably the strongest bloke this side of anywhere," Mighty answered.

"Excellent! Your pay will depend on how well guarded the Princess is, you're hired!" Iem Gi Kay smiled, holding out his hand to shake Shadow's, then Mighty's.

"Wait, just like that?" Shadow wondered, confused, "No background checks or anything?"

"Why would we need to do that?" Mr. Kay wondered, confused.

"…Never mind…" Shadow sighed, then turned towards Omega. "Come on Omega…"

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It was later that day, and Shadow found himself with the armadillo Mighty, both of them standing guard outside Princess Elise's room as she prepared for the royal ball. Omega was inside guarding her, along with the blender from earlier. After all, Omega was a robot.

Shadow and Mighty were also wearing suits, black, tuxedo-like suits, given to them by Mr. Kay, along with dark glasses, and communications devices to talk to one another, like secret service agents.

Hands behind their backs, the two Mobians guarded the door, bored out of their minds.

"So…Mate…" Mighty said, after almost an hour of standing outside the door, "What was your mate doing with that blender?"

"Don't know. Maybe he likes it…" a sound of Omega loading his cannons in Shadow's direction, even through the door, "Err…her…He was in love with another friend's toaster this morning. Had been for a bit."

"Bit odd, isn't it?" Mighty wondered.

"How many other sentient robots have you met?" Shadow countered.

"Good point mate. Good point."

It was quiet for a while after that, until, bored out of his mind, Shadow spoke up again.

"Maybe it's an affair…"

"Who? The Princess?"

"What? No. I meant Omega, the blender, and the toaster. I can never tell what he's thinking, and I'm his best friend."

"Sounds like a strange plot for a story."

"It does, doesn't it?"

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Loud.

That was the only conceivable word that could be used to describe the scene, Shadow mused. People were talking, everywhere, constantly moving, scheming, plastering on fake smiles.

_"At least people weren't faking it at Sonic's party…This one's just…"_ Shadow thought, making sure to stay close to the red headed princess as she talked with the higher crust of the world. He was unable to finish the thought, however, as a sudden movement was seen.

Turning around, ready to attack, he stopped mid karate chop swing.

"…Darn kneecaps…" Shadow murmured. It had only been a couple dancing.

The was a crackle of static suddenly in the Ultimate Life Form's ear, and bringing his hand to said ear, paused, then spoke, "Yes?"

"Comrade Shadow. We have a situation." Omega.

"What is it?" Shadow asked, looking around and trying to see over the crowd which was about twice his height.

"We are out of guacamole dip."

Shadow paused. It was the only thing he could do right now, processing what his friend had said, slowly, methodically, step by step, piece by piece, analyzing it.

"_What__?!"_ he finally offered as a rebuttal, almost as if Omega had insulted his non-existent mother.

"We are out of guacamole dip," E-123 repeated.

"Not my problem. I'm immediate bodyguard to Princess Elise," Shadow sighed, shaking his head slowly. "That's some cooks job or whatever."

"Comrade Shadow, do you remember the codes?" Omega then asked, an annoyed Shadow shaking his head slowly.

"Oh, you mean that paper that geeky guy gave to us? I Chaos Speared it," Shadow answered idly, snatching a hors d'ovoure from a waiter, reaching up to grab it, and munching it.

After spitting it out and wiping his tongue, going "ew, ew, ew…", Omega then proceeded.

"It means Princess Elise is in danger, Comrade Shadow."

Shadow paused, looking side to side, then glanced upwards.

Three large rat Mobians were dangling on ropes from the ceilings, slowly coming down them. No one seemed to notice them.

"Alright then…Mighty?" Shadow muttered, tapping his ear piece, "We are apparently out of guacamole dip. Watch the Princess, and I'll see what I can do."

"What, out again mate? Blimey, I just refilled five minutes ago!" Mighty's voice crackled back, "But I'm on my way."

"Did neither of you two read the code list?" Omega wondered.

Shadow merely grinned, rolling up his sleeves, then removing his glasses, taking care to put them in his front coat pocket.

The Ultimate Life Form bounded upwards, screaming, "FOR MONEY!" and threw a Chaos Spear at the rat Mobian closes to him.

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It was an hour later, and Shadow, Omega, and Mighty stood in the ruins of the ballroom, a horde of evil agents surrounding them, having been defeated by the three, and all the civilians saved.

At least, that's what the three wished it was. Actually, the Princess had still been kidnapped, the clown was missing, and Omega had just called it off with the blender.

"Well mates, I guess we better find those kidnappers, right?" Mighty asked, looking towards the others.

They were indeed in the ruins of the ballroom, but were the only three that one could see currently, dead or alive.

"We were hired to guard the Princess. Not rescue," Shadow said, shaking his head, then paused, seeing something on the ground.

Bending it up, it appeared to be the wallet of one of the kidnappers. Rifling through it, Shadow pulled out a small stack of green paper, threw that away, then pocketed the money that was in.

Mighty sighed, taking the wallet and inspecting it.

"Fine mates. I'm going to see if I can rescue the Princess," Mighty answered, then took off, leaving Shadow and Omega by themselves.

As Shadow counted, Omega wondered what they were going to do once tomorrow came to get more money.

"Wow! Two hundred dollars!" Shadow finally exclaimed, "I bet this is enough for a house!"

Omega paused, remotely accessing the internet yet again, and Shadow cringed, hearing the dial-up numbers being…dialed.

"Comrade Shadow…We still need more…" Omega said after his research.

Sighing and shaking his head, Shadow placed his hand on Omega's arm.

"Then we better find another job…Chaos Control!"

And the two vanished in a flash of blue light, the missing clown from earlier finally able to get up, now that he wasn't being stood on.

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A.N. Hopefully I'll have the next part out much sooner.

Of course, I still need to figure out what Shadow and Omega will do, and if they'll have a guest star or not. Hmmm…What silly and weird thing will I do?

I do NOT own Sonic and all related titles.


	4. Circus Folk

-1A.N. I'm sorry it took me forever to update this. Now that _Chaotic Power_ is finished, I hope to finish this story before I start posting it's sequel.

In this installment, Shadow wears overalls, Omega has a pink energy sword, and Cream the rabbit with her Chao, Cheese, guest stars.

Prepare for the insanity.

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"Omega…" Shadow said slowly, sitting in a coffee shop with his robotic friend and ally looking over the Want Ads, "Can you function as a microwave oven?"

"I can not, Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, a steaming cup of 'coffee' in front of him. The reason for the air quotes is because it was mostly motor oil. This coffee chain really _did_ have a coffee for everyone.

Shadow sighed, crossing out something on the paper with a big red pen, then paused.

"Do you know how to tame lions?" he finally asked, looking up, a gleam in his eyes.

"I would enjoy learning, Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, grasping the cup of motor oil and beans, dumping it over his head, giving a relieved sigh.

"Then I believe I have found us a job…" Shadow grinned, holding the paper up, "Follow me!"

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"Omega…" Shadow said slowly, looking at the steaming pile of crap in front of him, "You're _really_ lucky you don't have a sense of smell right now."

"Those elephants are not eating properly," Omega responded, "Analysis of their leavings indicate that many nutrients are going undigested, and after seeing those elephants, they appear undernourished and in need of greens."

Shadow paused, then turned to Omega slowly, "Okay then…just help me shovel."

Sighing, the Ultimate Life Form and Omega began to shovel the elephants' 'leavings.'

The two, were in fact, working at the circus. It was only for the day, but they were promised a lot of money, and they needed it. Houses didn't buy themselves. Except that one house that became sentient. Weird.

Anyways, Shadow and Omega were shoveling, Shadow actually wearing some blue overalls and boots, as it would take forever to get the 'leavings' out of his Air Shoes and/or fur.

Once they finished, a high pitched voice suddenly greeted them. Turning around, a small, light brown rabbit, accompanied by a floating blue chao, was standing a few feet behind them, a large smile on both of their faces. The rabbit had some cotton candy too.

"Hello Miss Cream," Omega said to the rabbit, "Are you and Mister Cheese doing well? Is the health of your mother satisfactory?"

Cream paused, the six year old girl thinking over what the robot had said, then gave an answer, "Hello Mr. Omega! Hello Mr. Shadow! Me and Cheese are doing good! And my mom is good too. She got me this cotton candy, would you like a bite?"

"No thank you," Shadow answered, looking at the ball of pure sugar on a stick.

"I am glad for the offer, Miss Cream, but I am afraid I must refuse. Sugar does not agree with my CPU," Omega answered.

Cream giggled, then brightened up, "Oh! You're so funny Mr. Omega…And…Are you two working here?"

"Affirmative Miss Cream. Comrade Shadow and I are attempting to acquire monetary funds for the transaction of a living unit," Omega answered, his head moving slightly in a nod.

Even Shadow took a second to mull that over, even though he knew what it meant.

"Oh…That's…nice?" Cream suggested sweetly. She wasn't able to make out exactly what Omega said, "Do…do you think you can show me the animals?"

Shadow leaned on his shovel, shaking his head, "Sorry, but that-"

"Of course Miss Cream!" Omega seemed to light up, "But you must endeavor to remain silent. Stow it beneath your cranium clothing. Female parent is the correct phrase."

A pause.

"What the heck did that mean?" Shadow inquired, raising an eyebrow as he looked towards his robot friend.

"I can not make it simpler, Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, "Now none vowel sound to indicate silence!"

Shadow sighed, as Omega opened up the nearby tent flap, looking around carefully, as Cream ducked in, followed by Cheese. Omega followed suit.

Another sigh, then looked around. The boss of the circus wasn't around as it was.

Shadow disappeared beneath the tent flap.

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"Oh wow!" Cream said brightly, looking at all the animals.

"Lions…" Shadow commented.

"Tigers," Omega said, pointing towards the felines.

"And bears!" Cream giggled, looking at a grumpy looking grizzly.

"Chao chao!" Cheese said delightedly.

A couple elephants were also seen in the corner, looking tired and worn out.

"You were right Omega…" Shadow said, indicating the elephants, "They do look malnourished…"

Cream paused, looking at all the animals, then had a thoughtful look on her face, finger to her lips, also pouty.

"These animals…They don't look happy," she finally said, "They look sad, and hungry…They should be back in the wild!"

Shadow and Omega shared a glance, and nodded.

Now, a lot can be said in a nod, especially when the two nodding towards each other are good friends.

Shadow, when getting a nod from Omega, got this. _"Sad, yes, but there is nothing we can do about it. We should let the poor girl down easy. Maybe a white lie."_

Omega, when receiving his head tilt from Shadow, inferred this. _"We should free these animals and bring them back to the wild! Prepare to fire all weapons!"_

E-123 held up his right hand as it shifted, then a glowing beam of energy came from it, humming.

"…When did you get a laser sword?" Shadow wondered, "And why is it pink? More importantly, why is it out?"

"Only real men use pink laser swords Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, eyeing a lock of a particularly large grizzly bear.

"But you're a robot…" Shadow protested, and Omega brought his laser sword around to bear on the lock.

And thus began, in what Shadow will always refer to as the event _before_ the Sugar Incident.

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"Stay calm everyone!" Shadow shouted, as a lion began to nibble on his boots.

"Shoo!" he said, waving his foot, the lion backing up and growling, then got ready to pounce.

Elephant calls trumpeted through the air. Cream appeared to be riding one. Omega was nowhere to be seen.

People and mobians ran in panic as the animals, mostly carnivorous, were let loose by Omega, a stunned Shadow having been unable to stop him.

Thankfully no one had been eaten yet. _Yet_ being the keyword.

A roar, and suddenly Shadow turned, wrestling with the non sentient lion, the Ultimate Life Form barely keeping the fangs and claws from digging into his skin. The lion was _hungry_.

Shadow fell on his back and kicked upwards, hitting the lion in the gut and sending it flying, crashing into a tent. It did not get back up, but Shadow knew it wasn't dead.

"Omega, where are you!?" Shadow shouted, eyes darting about, then the podium he was on began to rock, and Omega threw it upwards, sending Shadow flying. It seems Omega had been hiding there.

"Comrade Shadow! I am here, where is your current location?" the robot wondered, scanning for the hedgehog.

Shadow hit the ground hard, a cotton candy machine rocking with the force of his landing, and tipped over, pouring it's sugar into the dazed Shadow's mouth.

Crunch…crunch.

Shadow got up slowly, feeling some strange energy float through his body. He felt…happy.

Everyone in the circus froze as waves of sugar induced happiness washed from Shadow to the outlying county, the ferocious animals stopping in their attack, and went on to become productive members of society. The lion that almost ate Shadow even became a hippie.

But that's a different story.

With child-like wonderment, Shadow stepped forward slowly, everything else seemed to be moving so slowly.

"Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, appearing by the hedgehog. To Shadow, he seemed to be moving in molasses.

"The colors!" Shadow finally said, his mouth moving a mile a minute, Omega artificially slowing down Shadow's speech to understand him, "So brilliant, so wonderful! Oh god Omega, it's great to be alive!"

Omega paused, unsure of what to make of Shadow, when Cream appeared, giggling to herself and completely unharmed. Cheese seemed a little roughed up though, and was glaring towards the robot.

"That was wonderful Mr. Shadow and Mr. Omega!" Cream said happily. She too was in a good mood, like everyone else now within a fifty mile radius of Shadow, but hers was her own. Omega seemed to be the only one not affected.

"Hey, why is Cream mauve? And Omega, stop turning into a penguin!" Shadow declared, pointing towards Omega, beginning to hallucinate from all the sugar.

"I assure you Comrade Shadow, I am not turning into a penguin, and Miss Cream is not mauve," Omega told Shadow, after deciphering what was said.

"Sure, sure…" Shadow muttered, then rubbed his chin, "You know Omega, I love yah buddy, I really do. You're a good guy. Robot…Whatever."

Cream and Omega shared a glance, as Shadow then cackled and grinned, falling back on the dirt and proceeding to make a dirt angel.

"Comrade Shadow…I think it is time we collected our payment and went…" Omega said slowly, and picked up the limp Shadow, who was now muttering something about 'lasoof' and what not.

"It's been a desirable time being within your company, Miss Cream," Omega said towards the rabbit, "Endeavour to inform your female parental unit of our goodwill."

With that, Omega set off with Shadow, who had now crawled on Omega's head, somehow acquired a bottle of soda, and was singing show tunes.

Omega wondered how he knew these tunes.

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A.N. Next part Shadow will be back to his senses and Omega will explained the bit that happened and how much money they got, if any. Dum dum dummmm!

I do NOT own Sonic and all related titles.

Ahh, what shall Shadow and Omega be doing to try and get money next time? Tune in to the next chapter!


	5. Find the Computer Room!

-1A.N. Here we are, with Shadow and Omega's latest job to acquire monetary units for the transaction of a living unit! I mean, get some cash to buy a house!

Another guest star in this chapter, and if you can't tell who it is by the chapter title, then…Well…That's kinda sad, considering you should be a Sonic fan…

Anyways, enjoy!

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"Ugh…my head…" Shadow mumbled, rolling over, then falling on his nose, hitting the ground after leaving the branch he had been propped in.

"Lovely…yet again, I wake up in a tree…" Shadow sighed, getting up and rubbing his head, "Man, feel like I was run over by a truck…Several times."

The hedgehog also noted his boots and coveralls from working in the circus were gone, then, still rubbing his head and wishing for some Advil and a glass of water, he peered at his surroundings.

He was in the middle of a park, leaning against one of the many trees. Some small children were giggling at him. Shadow considered scaring them with a few Chaos Spears, but he didn't trust his aim in his current condition.

"Comrade Shadow, you have awakened!" a robotic voice said, filled with synthesized joy, picking up the tree Shadow was leaning on, causing him to fall on his back.

The kids screamed and yelled, running away as Omega placed the tree nonchalantly to the side, and handed Shadow a glass of water and a bottle of Advil.

A few minutes later, Shadow was feeling better.

"Okay Omega…what happened? The last thing I remember was flying through the air, then eating this crunchy, white, sweet stuff…" Shadow muttered, sitting cross legged on the grass.

"It was very funny, Comrade Shadow. You became very happy, and started singing show tunes, and the main unit commander of the circus designated many monetary units to us. I believe he was moved by your sonnet at the time. Afterwards, it was very difficult keeping track of you, Comrade Shadow. I lost you a few times, until you finally collapsed in the branch of this tree," Omega answered, indicating the tree.

Shadow shook his head, "Well…Hopefully I didn't do anything to embarrassing. How much money did we get?"

"Five hundred monetary units each!" Omega said, with synthesized happiness.

"So…With the two hundred and nineteen dollars we had…That makes one thousand, two hundred nineteen dollars!" Shadow exclaimed, "Alright, is that enough?"

"I had to spend ten monetary units for the Advil and water Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, "And no, it is not enough."

"Alright, so we have 1, 209 then…" Shadow muttered, rubbing his chin, "How much do we need?"

"One hundred thousand monetary units, Comrade Shadow," Omega explained.

"Right, right…" Shadow nodded, then paused, turning slowly to Omega, "One…One _hundred thousand _dollars?!"

"Affirmative, Comrade Shadow," Omega said, "But worry not, for I have acquired us a job!"

"Alright then…Let's go!" Shadow grinned, and they took off, leaving a pissed squirrel that had been living in the tree Omega had moved.

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Shadow found himself in a blue janitor's suit, and leaning against a mop as he was given his instructions. He and Omega were to be janitors in a large building filled with offices.

"Remember, you need to be thorough and extensive in your cleaning! Don't knock anything down, no stealing, and most importantly of all…" the man said, and pointing to a floor buffer by him, "Do not ride the floor buffers!"

With that, the man left, as the office was closing for the night.

"Must…ride…floor buffer…" Shadow said, eyeing the floor buffer now, slowly approaching it.

Omega sighed and acquired a mop, when he paused, seeing a computer.

To Shadow, it looked just like all the other computers, but to Omega, it was beautiful.

"So…beautiful…No!" Omega said, clenching his robotic fist, "I must resist, for Miss Toaster…"

The computer beeped, and Omega stepped forward. In the background, Shadow was attempting to figure out how to start the floor buffer, when a sudden noise above them made them look up.

The air vent above them shook, and with a sudden thud, a large green crocodile mobian fell on Shadow.

"Get…off…of…me…" Shadow mumbled, flailing about, as Vector got up carefully. He had a guitar strapped to his back.

"Hey, if it isn't Shadow!" Vector grinned, "And Omega! What are you do doing here?"

"We are attempting to acquire monetary units for the transaction of a living unit, Comrade Vector," Omega explained, distracted from the computer for now, "Inquiry, why is your presence in this location?"

"Well…" Vector said, "There's something I need to find…"

"And what is this thing you need to find?" Shadow asked, going back to inspecting the floor buffer. How did he turn this on?

"I need to find…" the crocodile began slowly, "The computer room."

A chill ran down Shadow's spines. Why did that phrase fill him with so much dread?

"There are many computers here Comrade Vector. Is this the room you are searching for?" Omega inquired, moving in front of the beautiful computer.

"No," Vector answered, "You can't get to it through the vents, and it's probably heavily guarded, but I need to get to the computer room!"

"Why?" Shadow asked, struggling with the cord to the floor buffer.

"Because they're evil!" Vector shouted, waving his arms about, "They're creating giant, mutant puppies capable of tearing through three layers of cardboard! _Three whole layers_!"

Vector was shaking Shadow now, forcing the hedgehog to abandon his search for getting the floor buffer working in exchange for almost getting a concussion.

Dizzy, Shadow stumbled about as Vector turned back to Omega.

"Anyways, I wouldn't mind the help," the crocodile said, "Will you aid me in my quest?"

"Comrade Shadow and I need to acquire monetary units. We can not do so by finding rooms," Omega answered, mopping a small plant.

"But…" Vector began, then smiled, "Eggman is involved! Yah…that's it…"

"MUST DESTROY EGGMAN!" Omega declared, eyes turning red, then smashed out of the room, Vector following, chuckling to himself.

Meanwhile, Shadow shook his head and got oriented again. Glancing about, he noticed that both Omega and Vector were gone.

"Oh well. Omega probably went to go clean something else," Shadow muttered, and went back to trying to figure out how to work the floor buffer.

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Vector crouched behind a small plastic tree, looking down the hallway filled with landmines, teddy bears, laser torrents, and Frank Sinatra.

Omega was beside him, a plant taped to a green military helmet on his head, black lines painted under his eyes.

"Comrade Vector, the computer room is through here?" Omega inquired.

"That's right," Vector answered, "But how are we going to get through?"

Omega's hand shifted, forming a grappling hook, then fired, catching hold of Mr. Sinatra and then flying forward, Vector grabbing hold and going with.

Flying over his head, the two landed, safe and sound, right outside…

The computer room.

"We did it! We found the computer room!" Vector danced, then opened the door open, only to see a giant mutant puppy, capable of tearing through three layers of cardboard.

The door was quickly shut.

"We need to find a different plan of attack, Omega," Vector gulped, as pounding was suddenly heard behind the door.

"…Omega?"

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Omega sipped an imaginary cup of tea, still wearing his helmet with the plant taped to it, several teddy bears sitting with him around a land mine, which was acting like a table.

Frank Sinatra joined them.

"I am just not so sure, Mr. Sinatra," Omega said, swirling his cup slightly, "I am Comrade Shadow's friend, and as such, I should be supportive of him, but he seems off and confused."

"A ring a ding ding, Omega," the former singer and actor said, "Perhaps you should try talking with him."

"Perhaps…" Omega muttered, then looked up, "I do not think Comrade Shadow enjoys those, Mr. Bear Number 2."

A few minutes later, Sinatra was gone, Bear Number 2 was vaporized, and Omega swore off imaginary tea.

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The door was flung open, the giant mutant puppy chittering loudly and sniffing the hallway, still protecting the computer room.

Then, it happened.

"WAAAAHHHOOOOO!" Shadow shouted, riding on the floor buffer, as it came careening down the halls, it's long cord giving Shadow plenty of free rein.

Barreling through the landmines, teddy bears, and lasers, Shadow grinned, looking at the giant mutant puppy, and attempted to steer out of the way.

Unfortunately, their was no way to go, and right when Shadow was about to collide, the cord ran out of slack, and Shadow stopped.

"Phew…that was close," Shadow said, wiping his forehead.

"Hold on…" Vector said from his new position from behind a plastic plant, "Shouldn't that have sent you flying? Laws of motion and what not? Momentum?"

"…" Shadow commented, then went flying forward, slamming into the giant mutant puppy, forcing both of them into the computer room, the door swinging shut behind them.

Omega reappeared, and glanced over at Vector, who shrugged. They both glanced back at the door.

The door swung open, Shadow, his janitor's outfit in shatters walked out, sparks seen from behind him.

"They're _robotic_ giant mutant puppies…" Shadow commented, "Now let's just go before I get knocked out…Again. I'd like to remain conscious throughout the whole chapter for once."

A piece of the fourth wall broke, slamming unto Shadow's noggin and causing the Ultimate Life Form to lose conscious.

"It seems we have had another fruitless job," Omega shrugged, picking up Shadow and tossing him over his shoulders, "Comrade Vector, it was a reasonably exceptional observing you once more."

As Vector mulled that over, Omega headed off, still carrying the unconscious Shadow.

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A.N. Like it? I hope you did.

I also have to thank Avenger, a fellow Custard-I, for a couple of these ideas. Namely going back to the fourth wall breaking, and Shadow wanting to ride the floor buffer.

I should also thank Vidit for Chapter 3, since I'm almost certain I drew from an RP on the Sonic Rapid Board. I turned something serious into humor!

Next guest star? Either Silver or Big, unless I get a better idea, but both of them will end up being guest stars in the future.

Also, I probably won't have Sonic or Amy be guest stars, since I'm trying not to have any romance besides with Omega, and I don't want to have Amy showing up with my darn ShadAmy fanboyness. And Sonic? Well, he is the one Shadow made a bet with for the party. Really don't want to have that stuff explained.

Muhahahaha…

I do NOT own Sonic and all related titles.

Support House Shipping! OmegaxToaster! SPREAD THE WORD!


	6. Wieners and Plot

-1A.N. Plot? No…Really? There's another story within this story perhaps?

I am evil.

Wonder if anyone will get it.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter, as Silver guest stars in it. Omega has some pretty good lines in this.

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"Ingest these non sentient meat by products shaped like a tubular device with a piece of collapsible piece of cooked wheat, accompanied by choice of easily acquired add-ons which increase the flavor!" Omega shouted, wearing a red and white striped hat and apron, Shadow beside him, dressed similarly. "Only two of your monetary units of green paper!"

"Would it be easier to say 'Hot dogs, plenty of condiments to add, only two dollars?'" Shadow inquired, leaning against the cart, sighing.

The two had gotten new jobs, and were selling hot dogs in the park. So far, no customers.

"That is a valid premise, Comrade Shadow," Omega stated, then flagged down a man in a business suit, and began to spout numbers about the benefits of meat ingesting.

The stunned man handed Omega a couple dollars and received his hot dog, walking off.

"Alright, two bucks!" Shadow grinned, looking at the money.

"One dollar, Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, "For every hot dog we sell, we keep a dollar."

"Ah…right…" Shadow frowned, then plopped down on a nearby bench, "Man…we need to figure out a way to get more customers…"

"Shadow, Omega! Thank goodness I found you!" a voice cried out, and two looked around wildly.

Floating down from the sky, glowing from psychic energy, was the visitor from the future, Silver the Hedgehog.

"Comrade Silver!" Omega said with apparent joy, "Would you like to ingest a-"

Shadow stepped forward and cut off Omega, "Silver, what are you doing here?"

"I am here to prevent a horrible crisis!" Silver stated, clenching his fist, "An evil force is attempting to gather the five World Destruction Gems, and with them, plans to destroy the planet! I can not let the future be destroyed!"

"Say…" Shadow commented, not paying attention to a word that Silver said, "Would you know if I win the bet with Sonic?"

Silver paused, frowning, "Bet? What bet? What would make you think I'd know everything about all of your lives? Sure, I might know more if I was only a generation or so from the future, but I'm from two hundred years in the future! I have no idea!"

"Oh…" Shadow sighed, "Well then, best of luck with whatever it is you said that needs to be done. Something like a bad fanfic idea…"

"You don't understand, I need your help!" Silver pleaded, ignoring Shadow's breaking of the fourth wall., "I don't think I can do this by myself!"

"Sorry, but Omega and I need to get some more money so we can buy a house…And throw a party…So I can win my bet against Sonic!"

"But…if my calculations are right, they already have the Revealing Tablet, and the Princess who's said to be able to reveal the locations on the Tablet!" Silver shouted, pulling at his fur, frustrated.

"Eh, ask Sonic," Shadow shrugged, "I'm busy."

"But I don't know where he is!"

"Not my problem."

Silver visibly twitched, shaking his head then pacing. How would be get them to help?

Then, it dawned on him.

"We'll see plenty of people you can sell those hotdogs too…" Silver said, looking back towards Omega and Shadow. Omega seemed to be trying to coax a stray cat to purchase a hotdog.

"Then why didn't you say so?" Shadow grinned, hopping up and placing his arm around Silver, "Lead the way! Omega, bring the cart!"

Pumping his fist in the air, Silver headed off, followed by Shadow and Omega.

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Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.

"Do you _have_ to bring that with us?" Silver wondered, as the three entered a large office building, people mulling about them.

"How else are we going to sell the hotdogs?" Shadow asked, Omega pushing the cart behind them, "HOTDOGS FOR SALE! TWO BUCKS EACH!"

Several people around them jumped at Shadow's yelling, wondering what they were doing here. A couple people started buying some hotdogs though.

"So these bad guys are in here?" Shadow wondered, handing a smartly dressed man a hot dog with a lot of relish.

"Somewhere, yes," Silver answered, "This corporation is just a front for something much more sinister…"

"Like giant, robotic mutant puppies capable of tearing through three layers of cardboard?"

"…What?" Silver coughed, turning to look at Shadow like he was crazy.

"Eh, last chapter," Shadow shrugged, "You had to be there."

Silver just shook his head, then ran up to a door, blasting it open with his psychic energy and barging in.

Alarms sounded, and armed guards started to appear.

"Hotdog?" Shadow inquired of one, shoving a meat product under the guard's nose.

Momentarily stunned, Shadow then took the opportunity to supply words for him.

"You'll take two? Excellent," Shadow said, holding out his hand. Stunned, the guard pulled out his wallet and handed Shadow some money, which he received two hotdogs in return.

"Potential buyers!" Omega cried, blocking the door leading to Silver, and the door the guards were attempting to get through. Omega had not consciously done this.

"Potential buyers, receive sensory output and become flooded with endorphins! These meat by products in a tubular shape within cooked weeds is what you should ingest for nutritional value!"

A few bullets pinged harmlessly off the robot.

"For only two monetary units, you can acquire one of these foodstuffs!" Omega continued, unhindered, as shouts and cries of pain were heard below, compliments of Silver.

"I don't know…" Shadow muttered, rubbing his chin, "This just doesn't seem right, at least compared to what happened before.

A horrible roar was then heard, crashing from below Shadow, and eating the hot dog cart that he was sitting on.

Well, it got Shadow too.

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Dark…it was very dark.

A green glow was seen, and Shadow twirled around, finding himself in a strange metal room, accompanied by Silver.

The shattered remains of wieners, buns, and the hotdog cart accompanied them.

"HEY!" Shadow shouted, "You owe me money for those hotdogs!"

"Fools!" a voice bellowed from around them, "For we shall use your own life energy to…wait, what is that?!"

A high pitched scream issue from around them, which deteriorated into sobs and pleading for mercy.

"Comrade Shadow! Comrade Silver!" Omega's voice was then heard, "I have pulled the undergarments of this man in a most uncomfortable way for him. Inquiry, would you like to be released?"

"No, we'd rather stay here and slowly die in this place," Shadow commented sarcastically.

"An odd decision Comrade Shadow, but alright then," Omega answered.

It was quiet for a few moments.

"I was being sarcastic…" Shadow sighed, shaking his head, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"…" Omega replied, and both Shadow and Silver could have sworn they heard, "Organic meat bags…don't output what they mean…"

The room began to rumble violently, sending hedgehogs, wieners, buns, small metal objects, and an old Backstreet Boys CD flying around the small room, then ejected from a large tube that appeared from the ceiling and sucked them through it.

"Comrade Shadow!" Omega said, grabbing a stumbling Shadow and embracing him within his metal arms, "The man I had pulled his undergarments upwards has paid us for the destruction of the hotdog cart and hotdogs! Five hundred monetary units!"

Shadow wheezed, gasping for air.

"Well, come on, we need to find the rest of them! The Princess and the Tablet were here, I know it! They must have taken them and escaped!" Silver shouted, turning to run off.

"Offering: Apologies, Comrade Silver, but Comrade Shadow and I must continue to acquire monetary funds. We do not have long before Comrade Shadow loses his bet to Comrade Sonic," Omega answered, having released Shadow who was now gasping for air.

The Backstreet Boys CD from earlier came whirling from the tube that had previously held Shadow and Silver, spinning wildly and beaning Shadow in the back of the head, who fell over, unconscious once more.

Silver sighed and shook his head, looking at the unconscious Shadow.

"Well…good luck…" He finally offered, then ran off.

Omega picked up Shadow again and headed off once more.

Time was beginning to run out…DUN DUN….DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

0000000000

A.N. Duuuuuunnnnnnn…

Cough…Anyhow, we have some chapters left! How many? I am not sure. Some. Maybe two, maybe five. Maybe more.

Big should be guest starring next. After that…Woooo! Just wait and see.

And if someone already use those World Destruction Gem things…Well…You had it coming? Seriously, I made up that name right when I was righting it.

AWAY!


	7. Turn Back, Fish Huggers

A.N. Okay, first off, sorry for not updating in a while. I'm going to try and get the next part out by Monday, at the latest, to try and make up for it.

I just sorta hit a wall with this story, trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to do…Then I realized that I should just follow my gut.

Hope you enjoy this one guys.

* * *

Shadow sat atop of Omega's head, rifling through the Want Ads once again. Omega walked along a busy street, the two getting a considerable amount of stares from the populace.

"Hmmm…" Shadow said, rubbing his chin, "Omega, what are your feelings about fish?"

"Same as the rest of you organic meat bags," Omega answered, "That you are all doomed to dust."

"Ah, okay. Good," Shadow said, "Because let's get to the harbor…We're going fishing!"

* * *

Shadow was in boots again, though these boots were attached to odd rubber pants that were held up by suspenders. He was also wearing a wide brim hat, and was given an old fishing pole.

Omega stood beside him, looking fairly normal, though in his robot hands he held a large, pointy harpoon.

"Argh," the man in front of them said. He had wild white hair, beard, and mustache. His coat was blue and ragged, as were his pants. His shirt was white and slightly fluffy. Shadow had inquired if it was a blouse earlier, earning him the old fishing pole and not the cool harpoon.

There was also a weasel on the man's shoulder. A normal one though, non sentient, non mobian.

"Argh…" the old man repeated, "Avast ye sea dogs, for ye have been brave enough to heed ol' Captain Maurice's call to battle."

"You mean the Want Ad? For fishing, right?" Shadow said, holding up the newspaper.

The harbor shuddered suddenly, and Omega and Shadow twisted about wildly, wondering if their was an earthquake. Omega's harpoon went off, flying high into the sky.

"Hello," a low voice rumbled, and Shadow found himself face to stomach with the biggest cat around, Big.

"…Big!" Shadow said, after going through the files of people he allowed to exist in his head, "Been a while."

Big nodded to Shadow, "I am here…Fish?"

"Argh," Captain Maurice said for the third time, "Three good men for this journey. Avast."

* * *

Thankfully, Shadow wasn't seasick.

The 'boat' they had been brought aboard shuddered dangerously, rocking back and forth in the waves. It probably didn't help that both the large robot and cat were also on the boat. Plus, their was a steady, growing pile of fish by Big.

The only reason it could be considered a boat even would be the fact it floated, and had a certain boat-like shape to it.

"Avast, keep your eyes open for the great white goldfish!" Captain Maurice shouted from the helm, which was simply a steering wheel attached to a piece of termite infested stick…thing…

Shadow raised an eyebrow, having so far been successful in catching an old boot, himself, and a magic nickel. He had thrown two of these things away though.

Omega, with his harpoon reloaded, was scanning the horizon, in more then one sense of the word, attempting to find anything big enough for the harpoon to catch. Most fish would be less then anything after having a harpoon going through them in these waters.

"…Can goldfish _be_ white? I thought they were always orange…" Shadow mused, as the ship lurched forward, Shadow pitching into the water once more.

After Omega pulled a water drenched Shadow back on board, Shadow coughed up a minnow, which slapped him, then jumped back into the water.

"Shall I open fire Comrade Shadow?" Omega inquired, getting his sights onto the minnow.

"No, no…" Shadow muttered, shaking his head, then knocking some water from his ears, "That would be overkill, for one."

"And when has that stopped us before Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, with a glance towards his shorter friend.

Shadow opened his mouth to retort, then closed it, considering his robotic friends words when suddenly half of the boat cracked off from the other half.

"…Omega, can you transform into a boat?" Shadow wondered, as he, Omega, and Big started to drift away on their half of the boat, the pile of Big's fish falling into the sea, Captain Maurice not noticing that he was slowly sinking.

"Argh…"

"Negative, Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, "But we are not that far from the shore."

They continued to sink, Captain Maurice continuing to sound like a bad impersonation of a pirate, and Big was simply floating in the water now with his inner tube, still fishing.

"Quickly, the life raft!" Shadow shouted, and jumped for Big, overshooting and splashing madly in the water, unable to swim.

Once more Omega pulled him out of the water, but instead of back on the sinking boat, unto himself, as Omega did seem to have an emergency floatation device.

"…Why didn't you tell me you could do this when I asked?!" Shadow demanded, clinging to his robotic friend for dear life.

"Because you asked if I could transform into a boat, Comrade Shadow," Omega explained, "Not if I had floating capabilities."

"To-may-to, to-mah-to," Shadow sighed, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, as they and Big continued to float in the sea.

"What do fruit have to do with our current situation?" Omega inquired.

Shadow, about to open his mouth to explain what his earlier phrase meant, found himself unable to, as a giant, white, robotic goldfish burst from the sea, hooked on Big's line.

"Come on now!" Shadow said, "First giant robotic puppies, now giant robotic goldfish?!"

The giant, white, robotic goldfish let out a mechanical roar, pulling on Big's line, sending the cat upwards into the air, the cat blinking softly as he gained his now second flying lesson.

As the line snapped, the giant, white, robotic goldfish turned it's site unto Shadow and Omega.

"_Now_ you can use the harpoon, Omega," Shadow said, as the mechanical goldfish opened it's mouth to eat them.

Sha-boing!

The harpoon was launched straight ahead, the line going taunt as it found a place to embed itself in.

"Errr…Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, glancing upwards, as the mechanical goldfish kept charging at them, "We have an unforeseen incident here…"

Silence.

"…Comrade Shadow?"

Omega glanced upwards. Shadow was not there anymore.

"Banzai!"

From the sky, Shadow appeared, having Chaos Controlled, coming down heroically with a kick, hitting the top of the mechanical goldfish.

A pause, and Shadow twitched.

"…Owwwwwwwwwww…" Shadow whined, falling off the goldfish slowly and back into the water, where he once more began flailing madly, unable to swim.

Omega blinked his sensors, then let go of the harpoon launcher, using his boosters to move forward and grabble with the mechanical fish that was white.

Then the water exploded.

* * *

Omega picked up the water drenched Shadow, and wrung him out, Shadow currently unconscious.

Placing him on his shoulders, the robot turned to the others. Big, having been the cause of the explosion of water that sent them flying back towards shore, was standing not to far from him, Froggy on his head, and a content look on his face.

Captain Maurice was there too, still standing on his half of the boat, which was currently stuck in a wall of a surfboard store.

"I don't want to go to school…" Shadow mumbled, beginning to wake up, "I want to stay home and beat up the Faker with you…"

Omega held up Shadow, then shook him vigorously, the hedgehog awakening with a start.

"Where am I? What happened? … Is this heaven?" Shadow wondered, glancing up at Omega, "Do robots go to heaven?"

"A question for another time, Comrade Shadow, but you are still in the realm of the living," Omega answered, then set him down, Shadow knocking some more water from his ears.

"Avast, you've helped me avenge my loss to the great white goldfish," Captain Maurice said, disembarking from his ruined ship, the owner of the surfboard store yelling profanities at him, "As promised, payment."

The water drenched man pulled out his weasel, which was drenched and shivering, then placed the weasel on his shoulder. Then, he reached into his coat once more, and produced three shiny gold coins.

Tossing one each to Big, Shadow, and Omega, the black and red hedgehog bit into it, then coughed out gold colored foil and month old chocolate.

"Argh!" Shadow cried out, disgusted, "This isn't payment!"

"Argh matey, I gave 'e a gold dubloon," the odd captain replied.

Shadow's left eye visibly twitched, as he held up the foil covered chocolate, "No you didn't! This is bad chocolate in gold colored foil!"

"I must inquire," Omega said, stepping forward, "What is the purpose of the animal known as the weasel on your shoulder? And what was your motivation for going after the large goldfish?"

"Weasel?" Captain Maurice said, looking surprised, "What weasel? This is my pet parrot, Polly. Hate weasels. And the great white goldfish stole my pet rock."

The weasel bobbed it's head up and down, and then hissed at Omega.

"…" the robot said, then simply grabbed the still protesting Shadow.

"Come Comrade Shadow. Perhaps we will have better luck tomorrow," the robot sighed.

Shadow sighed as well, following suit, "True…least I didn't get knocked unconscious this time…"

There was a pause, as the ground rumbled, and Shadow's eyes widened, as there was a flash of pain, Shadow being squished against Omega's hard metal and something large, furry, and white.

And before the world went dark, Shadow could have sworn he heard a large, friendly voice declared, "Bye buddies! See you later!"

* * *

A.N. And the running gag is maintained.

So, Shadow and Omega were unable to get any more money in this chapter. Sadness.

Next time, special guest star is Charmy, with another short appearance by Vector, along with Espio.

Can you guess what our two protagonists are going to be doing? Muhahaha.

I do not own Sonic and all related titles.


	8. The Banana King

A.N. Man, so sorry it took me this long to update. I hope the next one will be sooner.

Anyways, Shadow and Omega must baby sit for this story, and the guest star is Charmy, though Vector and Espio are in there for a bit.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Ugh," Shadow muttered, leaning against a telephone pole, rubbing his temples. This was getting frustrating. How was he going to get enough money in time for a house? They didn't even have half enough of the money they needed for a house! Maybe an apartment? But those seemed to be more expensive, if that was possible.

Omega stood next to him, when a suddenly, horrible noise erupted from his inner compartment. Shadow cringed, stepping away from his robotic friend and ally, covering his ears with his hands. What was that horrible sound?

Omega seemed completely immune to it, his chest opening to reveal his phone, the source of the horrible screeching. Shadow gave Omega a look, which said something like, "Why the hell is it making that noise!?"

"I have a phone call. Comrade Shadow, if you would be so kind?" Omega inquired. Shadow was unable to hear his friend's request, from both the noise and covering his ears.

Omega sighed, and something clicked, the phone flying off it's cradle and slamming into Shadow's cranium, who fell backwards, the phone landing by his ear.

"Hello? Hello? Anyone there?" a familiar voice called out from the phone, Shadow muttering and rubbing his head. He thought he was hearing voices.

"Huz-wha?" Shadow murmured, clutching the phone, "I told you, I didn't order any pizzas..."

"Pizzas?" the voice on the other side said. It did sound very familiar, as if they had met this person a chapter or two ago. Did it lose that computer room again? "Shadow, this is Vector. I have a job for you and Omega if you want it."

Shadow shook his head, clearing out the metaphorical bats, and coughed, "A job? How much are you paying?"

"Five bucks sound good?" Vector answered through the phone. There was a silence as Shadow simply stared at the receiver. A chuckle on the other end, "Alright, six bucks an hour, for five hours. That's thirty dollars."

"Make it sixty-five."

"Thirty-five."

"Fifty-five."

"Forty-five, last offer."

"Deal," Shadow answered, "What's the job? Need Omega and I to take out a bad guy? Extra muscle, some Chaos Controlling? Find the computer room again?"

"Nope," Vector answered, "Espio and I need someone to baby-sit Charmy. We have some business to take care of."

Shadow mulled this over. After all, how hard could it be to baby-sit someone? Should be simple enough, "Alright, we'll be over soon."

The Ultimate Life Form hung up the phone, grinning towards Omega. The robot glanced towards his friend, "Inquiry, what was the phone call about?"

"It was Vector. He wants us to baby-sit Charmy. Forty-five bucks!" Shadow grinned, "Didn't you hear? That is your phone and what not."

"It is a flaw in my systems Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, "I can give calls, but I can not take them."

Shadow just shrugged, and the two headed off towards the Chaotix Detective Agency...

* * *

"Good, you're here!"

Vector peered at Shadow and Omega as they stepped inside the small, slightly run down building that served as the Chaotix Detective Agency. There was a couch in the hallway which had seen better days.

"Alright, there's a list of emergency contacts on the fridge," this was Vanilla's and then Tails' number, plus 9-1-1, "There's dinner in the fridge, just heat it up in the microwave. Help yourself to some too," it was slightly congealed ramen that made Shadow glad he could go for a long time without eating, and Omega glad he didn't eat at all, "We only have a basic cable package, but feel free to watch the TV," the TV was small, but useable, "And Charmy's bed time is at ten o' clock. Espio and I should be back by eleven. If we're noticeably late, I'll make sure to pay overtime."

Shadow nodded, as Omega inscribed the instructions electronically, Espio standing by the door, dressed in a black ninja garb at the moment.

"Oh!" Vector shouted before he closed the door on his way out, "Charmy's not allowed to have sugar, but we don't have any in the house, so you should be fine."

As soon as the lock clicked in the door, Shadow felt something small hit his head and clamber around it.

"AHHH!" Shadow shouted, waving his arms wildly, "It's the alien! It wants to implant it's babies in my stomach!"

Omega gave a robotic sigh, reaching forward and plucking off he buzzing Charmy with a metal head, "I apologize Comrade Charmy. Shadow's been watching old science fiction movies."

Shadow chuckled, embarrassed as Omega released Charmy, who flew around the two.

"Oh boy, oh boy!" he said happily, "We're going to have _so_ much fun together! We can watch TV, play some board games, eat some cereal, and lots of other fun stuff!"

Shadow opened his mouth to retort, but found himself unable to as Charmy _kept talking_.

"Come on come on! What are we gonna do first Shadow? Huh? Let's have fun!" the bee buzzed, grinning from ear to ear...If bees had ears that was.

Shadow growled, tempted to do something to shut up this Charmy, but he be darned, this bee just seemed so happy, and even Shadow could not do anything to squash his enthusiasm. It was like kicking puppies.

Omega, however, was more then happy to show those puppies who was boss.

Something clicked, and Omega had brought forth his two gatling guns, aiming them at the buzzing bee, who seemed to ignore them as he suddenly started to fly in circles around Omega.

"Ooh, ooh, let's play Candyland!"

* * *

Shadow's eye was twitching. He, Omega, and Charmy had been playing Candyland for an hour now. They were on their tenth game. Omega seemed surprisingly good.

"Charmy..." Shadow said, as he moved his figure into the Candy Cane Forest, or whatever sugary treat that was. Shadow was slipping slowly into madness, "Could we maybe do something else? I think my brain is dieing."

"You're just saying that 'cause you haven't won one yet!" Charmy grinned, rolling the dice and moving his piece forward.

Omega's eyes seemed to turn red, and he held up his hands, retracting them and turning them into flamethrowers. He aimed them carefully, and soon the Candyland board was nothing more then a smoldering pile on the floor.

"Ahhh..." Charmy said, saddened, "I was winning..."

However, his youthful optomism returned full force, and Charmy flew upwards, pumping his fist into the air, "I know, we can go to the park! There's still plenty of light out!"

Shadow and Omega glanced outside. Indeed, these summer hours still gave much light, even at this evening time.

"Alright, fine," Shadow said, "Lead the way."

Charmy grinned happily, buzzing like a bee in a...beehive. Weak simile aside, Charmy was quick to be ready, and the three headed outside...

As the three made their way to the park, their was a sudden jingle playing, Shadow and Omega glancing around and looking for the source of the noise.

"Ice cream!" Charmy grinned happily, bobbing up and down in the air happily, as the ice cream truck stopped, opening it up. A green and dark blue hedgehog with tan highlights was passing out ice cream to a line of little kids that suddenly appeared.

Charmy buzzed forward, pulling out a dollar, and handing it to the ice cream...hedgehog, who gave Charmy an ice cream.

"Oh, shit!" Shadow cursed, jumping over a toddler and skidding past an adolesant, "No Charmy!"

But alas, it was to late, as Charmy bit into the ice cream, Shadow slamming into the ice cream truck nose first.

"It's okay," the hedgehog in the truck said, "That Vector guy's given me direction to not sell that bee any ice cream with sugar."

Shadow sighed, shaking his head, "Phew...Good..."

"You want an ice cream?"

Shadow paused, rubbing his chin. His head hurt right now, and something cold might help, "Alright. Give me whatever Charmy got."

Shadow pulled out a precious dollar, stared at it, then handed it to the fellow hedgehog, who gave Shadow an ice cream bar.

As Shadow opened it up and bit into it, he glanced towards Omega, who trying to explain to a group of kids that had gathered around what the Unified Theory of Everything was, and how the silly meat bags had been unable to figure it out yet.

And then...an odd sensation came over Shadow...

"Wha...?" Shadow muttered, taking another bite of the ice cream. This was good! "I thought their wasn't any sugar in this..."

"No, just the one in the bee's," the other hedgehog answered, "Yours has sugar..."

Shadow murmured something no sane person or tree would understand, stumbling backwards, sucking on the ice cream now, a content look spreading on his face. The world was great. It was fabulous even! And the colors...Ahhh...he felt so relaxed.

The ice cream selling hedgehog, sensing insanity coming, yelled to the front, "Get the pedal to the metal, I have a bad feeling!"

The driver, a white cat mobian, nodded and the two took off in the ice cream truck, the merry jingle playing, a few kids pursuing it.

"Hey, what's wrong Shadow?" Charmy wondered, looking at Shadow, who had collapsed in the street, his ice cream slowly melting in his mouth. The black and red hedgehog was gazing upwards with a blank expression on his face.

"Charmy...Charmy..." Shadow slurred, his hand pawing at the air softly, "You know, you're not as annoying as people say...Come 'ere buddy."

Shadow attempted to pull Charmy into a hug, but missed completely, then gulped loudly, swallowing the last of his ice cream.

The remaining kids, growing tired of Omega, made their way off to do whatever it was little kids did these days. Maybe defacing property. The robot glanced towards his friend, his optical sensors widening as Shadow stood up slowly, a determined look on his face.

"Comrade Shadow...?" Omega wondered, stepping forward, Charmy buzzing back, wondering what was wrong with his babysitter.

"I..." Shadow began cautiously, also as if he was about to deliver a great truth. Taking a deep breath, he concluded with an incredible amount of conviction, Omega and Charmy almost believing it at first, "Am the Banana King!"

* * *

"Comrade Shadow!" Omega yelled, shining a light on Shadow, who was standing on a lamp post, it's light flickering softly as it turned on, the night beginning to come. He had also somehow found a rainbow afro wig and some tidy whites, wearing both of them proudly. It was nearing Charmy's bed time too. "We must be returning to Comrade Charmy's residence to put him to bed."

Charmy nodded, yawning softly. Even hyperactive children need sleep some time.

"Never!" Shadow shouted back, still on his sugar high, "You wish to steal my napkins and sell them to the Melon Lord!"

Shadow chuckled bravely, perching on the lamp post, as though he was about to pounce, "I shall defeat you Sausage Demon!"

Shadow pounced at Omega, missing completely and struggling with a fire hydrant valiantly. After a few minutes of Charmy and Omega watching, the fire hydrant prevailed and Shadow laid on the cooling sidewalk, panting, out of breath.

"Come, Comrade Shadow," Omega said, picking up the sugar crazed Shadow who whimpered lightly, letting himself be carried, Omega leading Charmy back to the Chaotix Detective Agency.

"Best baby sitting ever," Charmy grinned happily.

* * *

"We're back!" Vector called out as he opened the door to the agency, where Omega was waiting in the hallway, perusing a copy of Ninja's Monthly.

"Welcome back, Comrade Vector, Comrade Espio," Omega nodded to the two, "Did the job go well?"

"No," Espio said simply, walking forward.

Vector just shrugged and pulled out a wallet, paying Omega.

"Any trouble with Charmy?" Vector wondered as Espio disappeared into his room. He glanced past Omega and saw Shadow passed out on the old couch in the hallway. Vector thought he heard Shadow mutter something about melons and underpants.

"No trouble with Comrade Charmy," Omega answered, "The young one was most useful when we needed to shoot down the balloons."

Vector, unable to give a comment to that, just nodded and sidled off, "Well...Good luck getting a house you two."

Omega, picking up the sleeping Shadow, headed outside into the cool night air, where a pigeon landed on his shoulder, relieved itself, then flew off.

Vowing revenge on pigeons, Omega set off for a place Shadow and Omega could hide until morning...

* * *

A.N. Ending is a bit weak, in my opinion, but it's okay.

Anyways, not to sure what next chapter we'll be seeing Shadow and Omega do, or who the guest star will be (maybe Tails? I dunno), but I certainly hope to have it out sooner then I did this chapter. So sorry for taking so long!

When I started this story, I wasn't sure how long I'd make this, and now it seems to be my second biggest story as of right now. (If this gets bigger then Chaotic Power, something's gone horribly wrong).

Also, Issai and Stream had a cameo. They won't be appearing again, I just wanted to have them there for a bit, no names in the actual story. No idea why they're selling ice cream.

Hope you enjoyed!

I do not own Sonic and all related titles.


	9. Everything Is Flammable, Seriously

A.N. Four months…Yikes….

I won't waste any more of your time, here is the next chapter!

* * *

"Man, it's freezing," Shadow said, shaking his body free of snow, getting it on a college student who was at the coffee shop Shadow and Omega had begun using to figure out their next plan of action for acquiring a house.

"Inquiry, was it not summer last chapter, Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, looking to Shadow.

"What? No, you're crazy," Shadow answered, taking a newspaper from the same college student he had gotten drenched with snow, flicking through it, "It was totally winter. Maybe fall."

"Will it be spring next chapter?" Omega inquired, getting in line for his cup of coffee, Shadow looking for an open seat.

"Hope so. Freakin' _freezing_ outside."

"I told you to bring your jacket, Comrade Shadow," Omega said, ordering his coffee from a confused human meat bag. Shadow waved him off, looking at the help wanted section of the paper.

As the two sat down, the slowly emptying cup of coffee disappearing. Shadow never caught Omega drinking it, but each time he looked, the level of the coffee had lowered.

Someday.

"Let's see…Huh…No one's hiring," Shadow frowned, showing Omega the paper. In large print were the words, "No one's hirin', suckahs."

"Interesting choice of spelling," Omega noted.

A horrible screeching sound filled the coffee shop, people diving for cover, thinking a bomb was going to explode and kill them all. Shadow himself flailed, sending his stolen paper flying about, their papery pieces floating softly on people's heads as the screeching stopped, looking up cautiously, like prairie dogs or meerkats. Truth be told, their _was_ a meerkat in the group as well. A sentient one though. Non sentient meerkats don't drink coffee.

They drink cocoa.

Looking at Omega, Shadow raised an eyebrow, and offered this witty remark, "What the hell was that?"

"My dial up, Comrade Shadow," Omega answered, "I thought you knew this."

Shadow opened his mouth to answer, then paused. He did remember that horrible screeching noise as indication that Omega was connecting to the internet.

"What are you doing on the internet?" Shadow wondered after a few moments, staring at the coffee cup of Omega's. He blinked, and the level was lowered again.

"Searching ," Omega answered, "And I am told that I have mail, Comrade Shadow. I can increase the size of my connecting cable, it seems."

Shadow paused, mulling that over, then made a disgusted face.

After a few minutes, Shadow still staring intently at the coffee cup, Omega spoke up, Shadow looking up to his robotic friend.

"No luck their either, Comrade Shadow. It appears as though we shall have to find our own work," Omega said.

Shadow sighed, nodding his head, "Alright…Finish your coffee, and we'll see what we can find."

"I have already finished," Omega said. Shadow glanced to the cup. Indeed, it was empty.

Tossing the cup away, bouncing it off the head of the same hapless college student who's paper was scattered everywhere and drenched from snow, Shadow and Omega headed outside.

* * *

Shadow found himself dressed in snow pants, a large jacket, and a pink scarf. He wasn't sure why it was pink, but that's what Omega had with him.

For the record, Omega also had a hat on his head as well. What it was doing there Shadow could only guess. Possibly slowly suffocating a pigeon.

A shovel in hand, but this one much wider then the one he was using from Chapter 4, he was removing snow from a driveway, a man in a business suit and holding a briefcase shouting at him to hurry up.

Across the street, Omega was also shoveling a driveway, but not so much as shoveling, as using his flamethrowers to melt the snow.

Shadow grumbled, going quicker, snow flying through the air as he hurried to please this inferior specimen. Damn it, he needed cash.

Turning around, the words "Is that fast enough for you?!" on his lips, they died between 'Is' and 'that.'

The man was now covered in snow, as was his car. Omega was on his fifth driveway.

With an explosion of what Shadow was pretty sure was fury, but secretly hoped to be forgiveness, the snow went flying everywhere, hitting a few birds, knocking over a squirrel, and just plain making a mess of the yard.

As Shadow was chewed out by the man, the Ultimate Life Form thinking about countering with an eloquent Chaos Blast, he thought he smelled smoke.

Turning around, completely ignoring the man, his palm met his face, as Omega's flame throwers had caught a house of fire. Omega didn't seem to notice as he continued melting snow with the searing flames of doom.

"OMEGA!" Shadow shouted, racing across the street, sliding on the ice, and hitting a light pole.

Stumbling backwards, making rather rude remarks about the light pole's ancestry, Omega turned to look, his flames setting a tree on fire now.

"Yes Comrade Shadow?" Omega wondered, as the suburbians ran around screaming about their houses catching on fire, and demanding that someone call 9-1-1.

"Fire!" Shadow shouted, shaking his head as that word bounced from his head out of his mouth.

Omega glanced down, looking at his arms, which were still in flamethrower mode, but in standby mode, ready to unleash with more fire.

"An odd request Comrade Shadow. I have plenty of fire," Omega stated, but unleashed his flamethrowers at Shadow.

Having enough wits about him to remember that fire is hot, Shadow jumped out of the way as the light pole, made of metal _caught on fire_.

"Holy-" Shadow began, but was drowned out as sirens sounded out through the neighborhood. Turning again, he saw a fire truck, and sighed in relief as it turned the corner.

It then skidded on some ice and crash headlong with the flaming light pole, which, in turn, caught the fire engine on fire.

As his face met his palm again, Shadow shook his head slowly, wondering just how he was going to fix this one.

* * *

"I must admit, Comrade Shadow," Omega said, the two sitting in the coffee shop again, "That was quick thinking on your part. You managed to save everyone, and we were even still paid for our services."

Shadow chuckled, leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head. "I must admit, I was surprised I did so well myself."

"A truly stunning performance," Omega agreed. Shadow glanced at the coffee cup. Halfway gone…

A few minutes as Shadow basked in his glory, Omega brought up their overall situation.

"Comrade Shadow…we are still low in funds for a living unit…Perhaps we should seek other solutions?" Omega said, leaning forward with his bulky frame.

"Like what?" Shadow wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…"

Just what does Omega have in mind? Will they have enough for this alternative? Just how did Shadow save the day? Find out this, and more in the next chapter of Shadow and Omega: Quest For A House!

"They could find out now if you'd be quiet!" Shadow shouted, and was suddenly flipped in his chair, his face getting intimate with the floor.

Shadow, undeterred, got back up, shaking his fist, "Oh yah? They'll never find out because you take to damn long to update!"

A mop went flying through the air, beaning Shadow on the head, the black hedgehog slumping over, unconscious.

"Comrade Shadow needs to learn not to mess with the author…" Omega sighed, finishing his coffee, grabbing his organ filled friend, and heading off for their next destination…

* * *

A.N. Again, sorry for taking so long to update. I hope to be better next time…Ugh….

Hope you enjoyed this chapter at least! Not going to be many left…Heck, next chapter might be the last. Muhahaha.

I do NOT own Sonic and all related titles.


	10. Full of Goo

A.N. It's the end…The final chapter!

See the ending author's notes for full…thingy…Aww, you'll see.

* * *

Shadow didn't trust this guy. Maybe it was his shifty eyes, the hyperactive way he talked. Maybe it was just in Shadow's head, just a vibe that meant nothing. Maybe he just had something against weasels.

Or maybe it was the fact the guy's office was a truck with the keys in the ignition.

"Welcome to Wacky Wally's Wonderful World of RVs!" the weasel said, shaking Shadow's and Omega's hands rapidly. Shadow looked at his hand, expecting to see slime.

"_This_ is your idea?" Shadow wondered, glancing to Omega, as shiny and not-so-shiny RVs towered about them. He could of sworn one of them growled at him.

"It is our only other option, Comrade Shadow," Omega explained, "These portable living units are cheaper then non mobile ones."

"Yah, but I don't have a license," Shadow said, "I don't know how to drive either. Are we going to have to go on another escapade?"

"Negative, Comrade Shadow," Omega stated, and showed Shadow a piece of plastic with Omega's name on it, "I already have a license."

"When did you get this?!" Shadow shouted, looking at the license. He turned it around, upside, and even up to the sun. It didn't burst into flames, so Shadow assumed it was legit.

"I spent a few years as a taxi driver in Westopolis," Omega explained, and turned back to Wacky Wally the Weasel.

"You haven't even _existed_ for a few years!" Shadow shouted, incredulously, "Much less have the time to work as a taxi driver!"

"It was the eighties," Omega explained. Shadow just made a confused face, Omega plucking his driver's license out of his furry friend's hands.

"Now vender of mobile home units," Omega said, locking unto Wacky Wally the Weasel with both optical sensors and weapon systems, "State purchase price of said mobile home units."

As Omega and Wacky Wally the Weasel hashed out prices, Shadow wandered through the maze of RVs, looking at their shiny, and sometimes not that shiny, and one that was so shiny it went around the spectrum and became merely dull.

Then…he saw _it_. That was the only way to describe _it_. Italics simply had to be used, but only because a text option that could properly put into words how _it_ was simply didn't exist in the mortal realm, and would set aflame the reader's eyes. This would be counterproductive to getting reviews.

It was large. Oh, yes it was large. Maybe even two stories. But for one who was just a little over three feet tall, this might not be saying much, but it seemed like this RV had two floors for even those Omega sized.

It was shiny, but not to shiny. It had large headlights, and the door was open.

Plus, it was purple.

Stepping into the shiny purple RV, Shadow's hands shook his excitement. He had not felt such elation since he saw Sonic trip into a mud hole.

This RV was full of happiness. It had a large room in the back, a shower, a small kitchen, and yes…It had a second floor, with other small rooms, mostly just places to sleep. It had a small living area by the front as well, and, Shadow noted, a working toilet.

This RV, it seemed, was built for Mobians.

Shaking with pure elation, Shadow stepped out of the RV, and made his way to Omega.

Now, Omega knew that Shadow found an RV he liked, as Wacky Wally the Weasel had suddenly become very generous and happy. As before, Shadow's happiness was washing out from him and cascading through the tri-state area.

"Omega!" Shadow shouted, spotting his robotic friend and the salesman, "I have found _it_."

Omega, noticing the italics, merely nodded his large body, then turned to Wacky Wally the Weasel.

"I believe Comrade Shadow has found one to purchase," Omega stated. Wacky Wally the Weasel smiled, folding his hands together. Time to strike a deal.

* * *

This was it. Sonic stared at the others behind him, all looking wary. Even Eggman was there, helping them this once. The whole world being destroyed meant he wouldn't be able to create Eggman Land.

They were in the abandoned ruins of some lost city, and the Chaos Emeralds laid useless by the hero's feet. The five World Destruction Gems stood tall on pillars, a strangely robed Mobian cackling madly as a portal began to open, which would bring doom upon them all.

Sonic wonder vaguely where Shadow was. Usually he didn't like to miss these things…Heck, even Blaze was here! Well, it meant the bet would be off, if he didn't think of something quickly to stop this guy.

And then the single most bizarre thing he had ever seen occurred.

Their was engine revving, and bursting through some ruins was a large, purple…motor home.

It smashed into the pillars, skidding about, the World Destruction Gems falling to the ground, shattering. The cloaked Mobian shouted in rage, as the portal closed, and he was run over by the RV.

Everyone stared, mouth agape at the door open. Picking his head up, the cloaked Mobian snarled, revealed to be a rat Mobian. He was about to say something when a white shoe with red trimmings stepped on his head, forcing it back into the dirt.

"There you guys are," Shadow said. Omega flipping a couple switches in the RV, and reading the Owner's Manual at the same time. He had put his driving on autopilot, and since he only knew how to drive a taxi cab, he had driven the RV like one, hence the smashing of things.

"How…what…how…where…why?" Sonic sputtered, mouth agape, like the rest. This was just to random to be true.

"Yah…Why _are_ you guys here?" Shadow wondered, glancing at the scenery. "Come on, hop in Omega's and mine RV. It's party time."

Everyone stared at everyone else, not entirely sure what to say.

"Eh," Rouge spoke up, "A party's a party."

"May I come too?" Eggman wondered.

"No," Shadow said, glancing to Omega, who had not noticed Eggman, "You may not."

Fuming and plotting revenge, Eggman stalked off, the others piling into Shadow's RV. With a whistle, Omega was off…

Whimpering, the cloaked rat Mobian stood up, and crack his spine back into place. Looking at the ruined gems, he sighed.

"That's it…I'm going back to law school…" he muttered, and hoppled off.

* * *

A.N. I decided to end this story how I started it. On a completely random whim and full of goo.

HOWEVER…that does not mean we have the last of crazy antics. I have in mind a sequel, and the entire reason Shadow and Omega purchased an RV.

…Can you say road trip?

_Shadow and Omega: Take A Road Trip_, coming to a fan fiction site near you.

When will it start? Not sure. Hopefully soon. Like, a couple days.

As for the party…Well…You'll get hints and what not of what happen.

And to anyone who has enjoyed this bout of insanity, thank you. For those that didn't, why have you read this far? Seriously, I mean, like, do you like punishing yourself?

I do not own Sonic and all related titles.


End file.
